how does it feel being a loose sting on a quilt the size of every thing

so im going to say how i got hte feeling than the feeling i got and what my experice is like.

so this was a challange becuase for me atlest i felt a differance between thinking and feeling ok when i die or even living would matter. so i got to look at some thing that would make me feel and thinking just has me thinking so i need to feel some thing i can see and experence. so i looked out side and there is 3rd ave and i went in the train and started to think about this and i felt it. it was a sinking ,droping feeling like the feeling you get when your lost or when you try really hard on some thing and it just disaperas is gone. like thats the closes things like it but i nocite it is right in my chest to the left. i know th romans thought emtion came from the heart and i can see why it is so strong in that one area.also my knees feel weak like they are rusty like it is a werid feeling. like it changes as i think about it and feel it, this is a real funny feeling mostly it is a sorrow that is fluxing and changes it is never the same. which is funny beucase what is going on will never change. and then my reaction is to think how we are connected like every one who has ever exsited on this rock has seen the sun or felt it in some way. so like i have a quick way to react. this is really funny.

this is a good movie the centry of the self

this is not cool but talks about how marketing is used to control poeple. still it talks about freuds ideas and how they been used to control the masses


http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8953172273825999151#docid=-4728804367742729519

selling the cool

seeking attione or trying to find approval are the mager strngs or corde that the companys use to control us, that there are probly others but this is a big one. if we where puppets the seeking approval string would probly control our backs or how our heads move. is it wroung to seek attione, well it can be annoying at times how extream it is. but is it bad ofcorse it depends to how extream but i think it would be viewed less bad if it wasnt so controllable. anohter thing that comes up is the klunky or klumsy when some one is trying really hard to get attoine i noctie this feeling that they are klusmy that it is like there falling down and they can only pick them selves up. also how our cultuer focus so much on it is seemed really funnny that it is deemed unhealthy. to seem like your not trying is deemed as cool and ads try that with almost seeming like "look we didnt take time to get a camera that didnt shake for this commerical" or "the spiecal effects look like some one just wrote on the camera". this is this look how unklunky we are for almost all aspects of cool also how well they play an arctype in a differnt way so to sell stuff to poeple they will have storys like how the person is trying to reach the product and boom they get it transformation now they are the shit. most of the time they are younge poeple playing these chaters in these 20 second storys, music, movies and book. i dont think it is just so get the attione of the poeple who share the same age but mostly for peole who want to be that age. it attachs younger and older aducances who want to be 17 or 18 years old. they are selling the age the prduct and the arche type all at once. this is powerfull that they control so much and can change so much it is complete control. so commericals and adveristment not only affect younge poeple but older too should it be illgeal i dont know but it is hurtiing tons of people and problyly our future this is like get shoved in to grave and all of these thigns are just pilling on more and more dirt that the coperations are throwing at us. this si going to make it harder people are going to loose a futher sense in reality and become more and mroe intralled in being a charter in there stories this is wroung that gerions of poeple are going to be suffering and leaving pointless lives becuase some one wants money. they turn things that where good and make them profitable by makeing them in to the preset acrche types that socity already has.should poeple even try to make music against this if it going to be turned to what they hate. well maybe they could for while and try to desroy it. it depnds on the person and how well they feel waether green piece of cotton with dead slave onwers faces on it are worth more than possibly make socity a better place. "but if this makes so much money how is it a bad thing? " eric asked me that just so i could make this point. poeple are dumb they will do any thing if it means they are cool or can fit in. this culture the ache types that are played out the most are the ones that ake the most money what chooses these arche types is probly socialton that is expericed thourgh growing up here. the companys say that if you want to be this achetype buy this, say this, eat this, fuck this and love this. for being the mid drift the consumer choices are the creitia we need to fill out to be that archtype and that story charter. companys have used this to control us and make life in to a exabtion presentaion.

person i think is cool in my family.

this is a person i think goes thorugh alot and can be mean some times but for how he handles alot at such a younge age i thnkis cool. also he gets me when i blab and blab on and on about crap. some times he can be dumb but it is not that he doesnt get it it is his fer ot act on it. and with me trowing all the shit at him he is still functioning. i asked him what does he think cool is and he said to be well liked be the center of attione and to have alot of friends. relaly basic and i tryed to make it deeper i asked. " what about haveing a lot of friends is cool or being the center of attione" he said well i dont know i think it is like in all the movies and stuff where the charters are the center of becuase the camera is looking at them and stuff. i mean i think it could , like other things i dont know."
i think he was getting at some thing with the movies and shows. i think he was probly trying to talk about archetypes. i think if we flush this idea out more and get to the real juices to it maybe he might have somethign really good to say. he got really far with just one question prepahps he thinks about this alot.

posts of othgers

russssssslllee
think it is cute and i can see you love the animals and it is cool to have animals like that. i bet you really liked ash from pokemon! and also i like your cool too!

jaraca

if this person was some thing else i think they would be like water. they are very calm and never really try to make a big conflict and simply go with the flow and take the simple route. have you read the tao te ching or doa de jing( same thing just poepel say it differnt) but you said she didnt want to start a conflict. is this you on the train i know that feeling looking at the clock i really can connect here! great job

Jace
i think if any thing this is exposing some fundamental ideas you have about getting older and stuff you said to me before. i feel you think that life is defalteing as you get older remember the dreams you have where you are old. what does being old mean to you? becuase if your 17 or 18 feeling this how is it when your 49 or 78? also is a baby full of air does that mean potential? that once where older we get less roads for what ever reason?

story read

is cool you? i notice what is considered cool is uslly the person like ali likes animals and always liked to tell me ways to destory the goverment and dyalns was about a kid who has a conflict with auothtive figuer and wins and surprises the person who si trying to stop them. and now thinking why wouldnt there idea of cool be them isnt that what they are sciving to be. i think that they have an idea of cool and want to be it becuase it is right or some other reason. i dont think it is bad but i think shows what this person wants to be and is a gret way to see how revile there vaules and better understand them.
what bothers me is when poeple say what the person has and that makes them cool. like saying the clothing i feel like that stuff is bought and if thats what is reviered and celbrated i think it is a big fundemental thing that is very materialistic and consumerist and shows how rooted it is in us. ali jo said it best that "it is like a shopping list"

story of cool

they found a finger in a barbecue i think it was mine. a week ago it i lost it i don't remember much of that day. the news is all over it and they traced the meat back here. and now they are slowing the production lines till the lawyers and the news slowly forget about the kid. also they don't care to look to see who is missing a finger people are lost in here and most have lost there fingers any way no way of telling.
i get back to my spot and see the cadavers strung up and moving my way. they are like swinging swaying in the wind but there isn't any here. it is really slow today. I'm waiting and waiting. I'm doing what i always do why is it different now.

finally i grab it and it is cold as always. do the same thing use the saw and cut down from the center and pull out.cut down from the center and pull out. cut down from the center and pull out. i notice the sound now it all seems louder ,slower and dirty than before. i here the screams and shrieks echo and they seem to to round the corners and hit me. they travel from where the belt starts and finally again hit me. i look at that chain and blood all mixed.the blood drips and i look in front of me.

i see my self. a reflection on this big container that i always thought where they put the garbage or the stuff form the inside. then i look down the belt and see no one. and in front there is me then my other side no one. all is me and the cadavers on the chains. coming to me and seeing my self and i have the saw.look at the chain carrying all of them. i stand on the black conveyor belt and cut the chain. i don't know what I'm doing. i cut i feel the rattles and it feels.
the cadavers all fall nearly at the same time with a crash and the belt stooped the screams stopped it all stopped.

i looked around no one was there just me. so i left it and there really was no one.